This past evening, my daughter was helping me with my hair. I could tell she was struggling to do what I had asked and so I asked if she was okay. Her response was that she was having a difficult time seeing what to do because…”she was blocking her own light!” The moment she spoke those words I could almost sense that there was a lesson there for me.
Have I been blocking my own light?
Back in May 2013, I had a conversation with God about my “Super Powers.” I originally wrote about this back in 2013, but I would like to share this with you.
Growing up, I watched and enjoyed movies and television shows about super heroes. I anxiously awaited Superman at the theater and paced the floor waiting for Wonder Woman and Bionic Woman to come on every week. I always envisioned myself with super powers, but even with the naive nature of a child, I knew that a regular human being such as myself did not possess super powers and these things were reserved for the big screen. This knowledge did not stop me from tying a sheet around my neck and pretending I could fly (usually prompted by the theme music from Superman).
Fast forward to 43…
I have spent my adult life as a normal girl fully aware of the limited and unlimited possibilities that go along with being “regular”. Ok, maybe not “regular” because there is nothing regular about being a Hip Peace Chick, but…ok, where was I? Oh yeah…Regular.
Last night, after a late night out, I was taking a hot shower before bed. God chose that opportunity to chat with me. It was a very weird conversation but I know for sure it was God because my night out did not involve alcohol and usually when I hear voices it is either my holy water “wine” or the Holy Spirit. God spoke to me as if He was continuing an earlier conversation. I was not aware of us having a conversation of this nature previously, but I often feel, and have expressed that God the Father communicates privately with The Holy Spirit of God that dwells within me, and often times I am not privy to these conversations. Ok, so I am in the shower; Holy Spirit; previous conversation; weird. So God said “Further to our conversation (ok, I added that part for creative purposes) You have super powers.” So I was like “huh??!!” First of all, I have what? and secondly, how do You just spring that on someone at 1 in the morning, who is naked in the shower?
So God goes on to tell me that I have super powers. (me) Okay God…I have super powers; what are these powers You refer to. (God) You have the power to “Deflect darkness with Light” (me) Does this ability come with the ability to fly? (legitimate question). (God) “NO!” (I am not sure He yelled, but His answer disappointed me, non-the-less) So, I have Super Powers? Deflecting darkness with light? I do not even know what that means and after a few hours of confused thinking, I have some insight, but my insight is superficial and without any real understanding.
The power to deflect darkness with light?
This naked shower conversation, as weird as it was did not catch me completely off guard. Over the past few weeks, God has had me doing some things that I did not fully understand. I shared these things with my friend Alison hoping her wisdom would give me some clarity. I never thought to question God; not because I was afraid to question Him, but because I simply did not feel led to ask; I just did the things He was inspiring me to do. After about a week and a half of these rituals, I sat on the floor in my office with my head slumped into my hands, confused about what was going on inside of me. I felt this anxiousness inside of me that I could only describe as “Spiritually pacing the floor.” My conversation with Alison helped me to gain some insight into what was happening, and I felt a sense of relief as if I was having some questions answered for the first time.
The week after that, which was the same week leading up to the naked shower conversation, I have been completely at peace with this God stuff going on inside of me, so when God started talking all weird, I was a little caught of guard. I usually have conversations with God about super natural things: Blessings, Miracles, Grace, Faith..but now we are talking Super Powers. Where is that in the bible God?
Ok, so wow! I Have super powers! That is pretty friggin cool!!
But wait, what??!! He went on to tell me that we (humans) all have super powers. So I am not special God? All this talk of me having Super Powers; boosting me up only to deflate me by telling me my powers are unique to me, but all these other folks have powers too?
I remember watching the first Superman movie. He landed on Earth, he was found by the Kents, he lifted a car of someone and his adoptive parents realized he was “special.” Clark (Superman) discovered he was special during his teenaged years. I found out much later.
I am going to save you the surprise of finding out at 1am, while naked in the shower…You have super powers. I am not sure what your power is; I don’t even know what mine means…”deflecting darkness with light, void any ability to fly” But I implore you to have a chat with God. Some of you will think I am nuts and that will simply prolong your journey to discovery; while others will experience an “aha” moment. You’ve always known you were weird (I am not the only weird one among us).
I will seek to understand what it means to deflect darkness with light and I hope that you will seek to understand what it is about you, that is unique to you. What super power do you possess and how will you use your power for good.
So here I am now 3 years later and I am just beginning to come to terms with my social responsibility to #spreadlight and #spreadlove
What have I been doing the last 3 years since discovering this super power? Have I been blocking my own light? Thankfully I have come to understand the social responsibility I have and I now own that, and I am using my voice to encourage other women to allow their own light to shine in our community. This is what I seek to do with my gatherings…with this Revolution of Peace, Light and Love. I have embraced the fact that I can no longer block my own light and I must use the power God has given me. I am grateful to my little girl for reminding me that even when we have the best intentions, we can still block our own light.
…and so now, I will move out of my own way; I will stop standing between my light and my destiny, and let God shine His light through me. I will continue to deflect darkness with light…and I will learn the lesson my daughter accidentally taught me…I will stop blocking my own light.